Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize