You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
