Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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