I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Be still, my beating vagina.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
