Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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