Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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