Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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