You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
