stop calling my apartment porn island.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
