i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
