Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
