Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
