i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
