no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
