so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
