I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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