I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize