If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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