Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
