Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
