Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
