this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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