she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
