while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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