4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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