he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
