She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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