nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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