is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
