he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
