Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
