let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
