Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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