I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
