So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
