Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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