loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
