i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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