What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
