can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
