hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
