Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
