It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
