I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
