He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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