also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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