I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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