he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize