But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
