I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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