I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize