Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
