i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
