batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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