did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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