My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
