well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
