i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
