Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
