Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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