your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He better not be in your backpack
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
