And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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