TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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