My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
