so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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