there was a trapeze. enough said
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
